GoDaddy.com CEO Bob Parsons has been getting a lot of grief from animal sympathizers over his recent elephant hunting expedition in the African  shithole country of Zimbabwe. A bull elephant responsible for destroying farmers’ crops was shot and killed by Parsons, who then posted video of his philanthropy online.

“America’s Got Talent” cohost Piers Morgan took time off from judging fire breathers and sword swallowers to attack Parsons for his actions. Parsons, however, does a great job of standing up to the self righteous wanker.

We applaud Mr. Parsons and hope he continues to slaughter those dumbos. As we reported before, studies have shown that elephants are quite capable of hatching evil plans against humans.

Check out the “interview”:

Over 2000 albatross and other endangered bird species were killed at the Midway Atoll National Wildlife Refuge north-west of Hawaii by the tsunami wave that struck Japan last Friday.

The US Fish and Wildlife Service reports:

Waves reaching 5ft (1.5m) high smashed into the atoll just before midnight local time on 10 March and continued for the next few hours. The waves washed over 60% of Eastern Island, an islet of nearly 150 hectares (370 acres) inside the refuge. Tens of thousands of chicks were also killed. Thousands of Bonin petrels were buried alive.

Well, at least some good came out of Japan’s horrendous tragedy. But, let’s not celebrate just yet. Wisdom, the world’s oldest albatross, survived the waves.

What’s the big deal about one bird out of thousands? Wisdom (pictured above) is over 60 years old and has birthed and raised over 30 chicks in her lifetime. She, alone, could boost the albatross species significantly. Yea, it’s bad news. Are there such things as tsunami aftershocks? If so, maybe we’ll get lucky next time.

The Indian city of Patiala is looking to build a rehabilitation facility to teach “good manners” and provide health care to the roving band of monkeys that terrorizes its streets daily. These antisocial simians are known to chase, attack, and even rob people of their belongings. There are currently over 16,000 monkeys living in Patiala.

Divisional Forest Offices representative Jasmer Singh says the facility will:

… teach the monkeys to be decent and live socially with other monkeys.

OK … but, next you know, they’ll want to vote, get legally married, and sit in the front of the bus.