What is the sound of one hand clapping? Tampa, Florida resident Joseph Cannistra almost found out when a five-foot gator ambushed him outside his Land O’ Lakes home. The 38-year-old expectant father and his girlfriend Tamara Smith had just returned from their coed baby shower, when the couple’s 2 1/2-year-old pitbull mix Zeus ran outside their home and into the backyard. It was past midnight so a concerned Cannistra foolishly stepped outside to retrieve his pet, clueless to the fact that his dog was setting him up.

Cannistra told the St. Petersburg Times:

I was clapping my hands. The second time I clapped, I couldn’t take my hands apart. The next thing I know, I was getting chomped. If it was someone with dandy hands, they would have been in trouble.

The attack injured several fingers on Cannistra’s left hand and took skin off his right. He received 34 stitches and bucket-loads of pain killers.

While it is possible that God is punishing Cannistra for living in sin with his knocked up girlfriend, chances are that residing in a home next to a large nature preserve was a disaster waiting to happen. No word yet on whether the couple is aware of Zeus’ role in the crime.

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