Those of you visiting this site for the first time may notice that it’s been over a month since a new update was posted. You may think that means this blog is dead. Well, unfortunately for me, you’re wrong.

You see, I had hoped to retire AnimalsHateUs and spend the rest of my days watching HBO and surfing the net for interracial porn. But, as it turns out, my work here is far from done.

I came to this realization when animal sympathizer and Godless heathen Lana V. went on to display vulgar amounts of ignorance in the comments section of an older post.

She writes:

What kind of a moron created this website? Not only animals, mate, people hate you as well! As for bible, who gives a damn what that ridiculous book say? They just want your money! The fact that humans have an opposable thumb  does not give them rights to rule this planet!

Despite my efforts to warn people about the threat that all animals present to us every day we go on trying to share this earth with them, they remain unconvinced. Every day, someone adopts a dog or a cat that will one day maul or scratch to death their children or rape their grandma.

Every time I go to Target to buy underwear and milk, some asshole asks me if I will donate to “Save the Whales.” No thanks. How about saving a Sea World trainer from foolishly risking his or her life to teach an orca to juggle?

The truth is that you people still need me.

As long as their are people like Lana V. around spreading misinformation and dangerous propaganda about animals, I will keep this site up to support victims of animal-on-man hate crimes and to remind all you idiots that animals hate us and want to kill us!

In other words, read us if you want to live.

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Hello, Friends!

Animals Hate Us is back! I apologize for the lack of updates over the holidays. I was on safari doing my part to keep the animal population down. I can only pray that you or your loved ones did not come under attack while I was gone. I do realize the importance of this site in keeping you updated on the battle between man and beast, and providing you with enough frightening examples of animal-on-human crimes to ensure you keep your guard up at all times. It is a responsibility I do not take lightly.

So, that said, let’s get back to business!

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Animals hate us and they’re trying to kill us. We build malls on their land, shit in their ocean, pollute their sky, take their fur and, in a vulgar display of power, even make some of them wear costumes and cute little sweaters.

Animals hate us and they’re trying to kill us. And, it’s not just the ugly ones or those with scales. It’s not just the big cats of the Serengeti and the sharks in the sea or the bears in the forest. It’s also the dog you walk, the cat in the tree, the birds overhead, the funny little monkeys at the exotic pet store, the hamster in the wheel, the goats at the petting zoo, even the fish in the bowl.

Animals hate us and they’re trying to kill us. Repeat it to yourself. Learn the facts. Animal attacks on humans are on the rise. It’s us against them. We must prepare ourselves for what’s to come. The first step is information. This blog will document all the crimes against humanity orchestrated by the animals.  We will not rest until every animal is behind bars.

Animals hate us and they’re trying to kill us. They are not your friends.  They don’t want to be your pets. They may be cute. They may be fluffy. But, remember: The only good animal is a barbecued one.

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