While surfing the net for deals on ammo and interracial pornography, I came upon a YouTube video that just pissed me off. The clip is from an old Australian Geographic documentary called Shadow of the Shark and features shark “expert” Valerie Taylor hand feeding and PETTING a great white shark.
Taylor says in the video that she feels she has an understanding with the great white. It reminds me of ass-hat Timothy Treadwell whose understanding of grizzlys got him eaten by a bear he had named Mr. Chocolate, which coincidentally was also the name of the African-American gentleman in the porn I downloaded.
Take a look at this quack:
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A fat Mexican was bitten by a baby bull shark he caught while crossing the Rio Grande to get into Texas. OK, I made that last part up. You can thank me for the idea later, U.S. Border Patrol.
I’m kidding, of course. I’d rather live in a state overrun by Tejano music and street soccer than to see any human hurt by an animal.
Take a look at the vid:
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Professional abalone diver Peter Clarkson was brutally murdered by not one, but two Great White sharks off the coast of South Australia in the ominous waters of Coffin Bay on Feb. 17. Clarkson, who had already survived a brush with a Great White back in August, had often spoke of his fear of being attack while swimming to the ocean’s surface with his prized catch.
Maybe it was his reported love for diving or the fact that he could earn up to $100,000 in 55 days for collecting abalone, but the 50-year-old Clarkson foolishly ignored his fears and was taken while coming up to his boat. Skipper Howard Rodd witnessed the ferocious attack on his little buddy.
He told rescue officers:
I saw the beast come up and take him. There’s no way he could have survived.
Supposed experts claim tag-team shark attacks, especially in cases involving Great Whites, are 10-million-to-one. But, considering a surfer was mauled by two of the apex predators in 2004 off the coast of Gracetown, those experts appear to be full of shit.
Clarkson is believed to have been utilizing a SharkShield deterrent while diving on the day of his murder, proving that such devices are no substitute for common fucking sense. His body has not be found.
The abalone industry brings in over $50 million to South Australia every year.
The following is a record of shark attacks down under:
* August 17, 2010: A 31-year-old man died from serious injuries after a shark attacked him while he was surfing near Gracetown in Western Australia’s southwest.
* December 27, 2008: Fisherman Brian Guest, 51, taken by a great white while snorkelling at Port Kennedy in Perth’s south. His son and beachgoers saw the shark attack and swim off with him in its mouth.
* April 8, 2008: A 16-year-old boy from Wollongbar killed by a shark while bodyboarding off Ballina’s Lighthouse Beach on the NSW north coast.
* January 7, 2006: Sarah Kate Whiley, 21, mauled by up to three bull sharks while swimming in waist-deep water with friends at Amity Point, off south-east Queensland’s North Stradbroke Island.
* August 24, 2005: Marine biologist Jarrod Stehbens, 23, taken by a shark, believed to be a white pointer, while diving for cuttlefish eggs with colleagues off Adelaide’s Glenelg Beach.
* March 19, 2005: Geoffrey Brazier, 26, attacked by a six-metre shark, believed to be a great white, as he snorkelled near the Abrolhos Islands, off Geraldton, 500km north of Perth.
* December 16, 2004: Nick Peterson, 18, killed instantly when attacked by a great white shark as he was towed behind a boat on a surfboard 300 metres off Adelaide’s popular metropolitan West Beach.
* December 11, 2004: Mark Thompson, 38, attacked by a shark while spear fishing with two friends at Opal Reef, about 75km from Cairns in north Queensland. He died from a cardiac arrest soon after the attack.
* July 10, 2004: Brad Smith, 29, attacked by two sharks, believed to be a great white and a large bronze whaler, as he surfed near Gracetown in Western Australia’s south-west.
* February 8, 2003: Bob Purcell, 84, attacked by a 2.5 metre bull whaler while swimming in Burleigh Lake on the Gold Coast in Queensland.
* December 16, 2002: Beau Martin, 23, attacked while swimming in Miami Lake on the Gold Coast in Queensland.
* April 30, 2002: Scallop diver Paul Buckland, 23, dragged from a mate’s arms by a six-metre white pointer while trying to get on board a boat in Smoky Bay in the Great Australian Bight, South Australia.
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If you’re in Palm Beach County and don’t fancy yourself chum, make sure you stay the fuck way from the ocean. Large numbers of Blacktip and Spinner sharks have migrated to the area in search of mullet schools and stupid swimmers.
Brent Winner, AKA: Captain Obvious of the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, warns:
If the water is murky and you see hundreds of sharks, you probably should stay out of the water. Even though they don’t eat people, the chance of being bitten is there.
According to the International Shark Attack File at the Florida, Palm Beach County ranks third in the state for shark attacks, with 59 attacks and no fatalities since the late 19th century.
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