If you’ve been a loyal reader of this site, you know by now that animals hate us and want to kill us. But, did you know they also want to make us look sexually inferior to our mates?

When was the last time you fucked your partner on a moving vehicle?

Just listen to how the women in the car react. These baboons just showed up their boyfriends.

The Indian city of Patiala is looking to build a rehabilitation facility to teach “good manners” and provide health care to the roving band of monkeys that terrorizes its streets daily. These antisocial simians are known to chase, attack, and even rob people of their belongings. There are currently over 16,000 monkeys living in Patiala.

Divisional Forest Offices representative Jasmer Singh says the facility will:

… teach the monkeys to be decent and live socially with other monkeys.

OK … but, next you know, they’ll want to vote, get legally married, and sit in the front of the bus.