Nearly 300 rare and exotic birds were unexpectedly fried on Friday morning when a fire broke out at the Gilcrease Nature Sanctuary in Las Vegas. The sanctuary, which has been around since the ’70s, is estimating its loss at $2 million.

Facility director Sandra Salinas said:

Oscar Gilcrease was actually here and he heard the fire and the popping noise and he ran out and he tried to contain the fire. They called the fire department, but the wind picked it up and moved from one building to another.

For those keeping score: Man + 300, Birds – 0.

Popularity: 14%

This is video from Scotland where a seagull named Sam has been seen shoplifting bags of Tangy Cheesy Doritos just about every day.

Check out the evidence:

This bird has got some gall. It knows that people will think its actions are cute and not seek out justice. But, just remember this: Tangy Cheesy Doritos = tangy, cheesy bird shit on your car.

Popularity: 16%

Like women, homosexual males are notorious for being animal sympathizers. It’s easy to understand why. Gay men don’t hunt for sport or food. They don’t protect women from rodents and creepy crawlies. In most cases, the only animal they come in contact with are poodles and the chihuahuas they carry in their purses.

But, a recent animal-on-human attack may change their outlook. Many of you have probably seen or heard about the attack on the news. Australian weatherman and raging homosexual Steve Jacobs was attacked during his broadcast by a giant pelican.

Take a look:

Judging by Jacob’s hysterical cackling, he is obviously in shock. Let’s hope he and other gay people will start to see that animals hate us and want to kill us.

Popularity: 19%

Enemy conspirators Stephen Fry and zoologist Mark Carwardine recently traveled to New Zealand in search of an endangered, flightless parrot known as the Kakapo. But, rather than killing the bird and serving him up with a side of veggies and mash potatoes, the men simply aimed to document the rare parrot for the world to experience and appreciate.

What the world experienced, however, was a cold dose of reality as the Kakapo proceeded to brutally rape Carwardine’s head.

The Kakapo’s ‘O’ face is pretty scary. Can you imagine the vulgar things it would have said to Carwardine if it could speak like other parrots?

Popularity: 22%

This Thanksgiving Day weekend, don’t forget to give thanks that it’s the bird that’s dead and cooked. After all, it could have been you or your kids!

This happened in a residential neighborhood. They’re coming onto our turf!

Turkeys aren’t afraid of our technology!

Even bikers aren’t safe!

This is scarier than Paranormal Activity (and shot just as well)

Turkeys may appear goofy, but they are an aggressive bird that won’t think twice about pecking your eyes out!

Popularity: 21%