Over 2000 albatross and other endangered bird species were killed at the Midway Atoll National Wildlife Refuge north-west of Hawaii by the tsunami wave that struck Japan last Friday.

The US Fish and Wildlife Service reports:

Waves reaching 5ft (1.5m) high smashed into the atoll just before midnight local time on 10 March and continued for the next few hours. The waves washed over 60% of Eastern Island, an islet of nearly 150 hectares (370 acres) inside the refuge. Tens of thousands of chicks were also killed. Thousands of Bonin petrels were buried alive.

Well, at least some good came out of Japan’s horrendous tragedy. But, let’s not celebrate just yet. Wisdom, the world’s oldest albatross, survived the waves.

What’s the big deal about one bird out of thousands? Wisdom (pictured above) is over 60 years old and has birthed and raised over 30 chicks in her lifetime. She, alone, could boost the albatross species significantly. Yea, it’s bad news. Are there such things as tsunami aftershocks? If so, maybe we’ll get lucky next time.

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Do you see this: V? That is V for Victory!

The US Fish and Wildlife Service has officially declared the eastern cougar extinct! That’s right, stupid cat, we got you! In your face!

A statement issued by the agency reads:

The US Fish and Wildlife Service conducted a formal review of the available information and … concludes the eastern cougar is extinct and recommends the subspecies be removed from the endangered species list. Only western cougars still live in large enough numbers to maintain breeding populations, and they live on wild lands in the western United States and Canada.

The eastern cougar was put on the endangered list in 1973. However, the agency’s lead eastern cougar scientist, Mark McCollough, believes the the big cat was extinct as far back as as 1930.

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Disturbing news from the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences journal. A study conducted at the Thai Elephant Conservation Center in Lampang, Thailand has revealed that these big ass Dumbos may not be all that dumb after all.

Twelve male and female elephants were observed in an experiment designed to gauge their intelligence and ability to cooperate  with each other to reach a common goal. The results have given animal scientists major hard-ons, but should serve as a warning to regular folks like us.

Sure, today they work together as a team to get some tasty corn. But, what happens when they set their sight on our land and our women? Be afraid, friends.

Check out the video:

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Professional abalone diver Peter Clarkson was brutally murdered by not one, but two Great White sharks off the coast of South Australia in the ominous waters of Coffin Bay on Feb. 17. Clarkson, who had already survived a brush with a Great White back in August, had often spoke of his fear of being attack while swimming to the ocean’s surface with his prized catch.

Maybe it was his reported love for diving or the fact that he could earn up to $100,000 in 55 days for collecting abalone, but the 50-year-old Clarkson foolishly ignored his fears and was taken while coming up to his boat. Skipper Howard Rodd witnessed the ferocious attack on his little buddy.

He told rescue officers:

I saw the beast come up and take him. There’s no way he could have survived.

Supposed experts claim tag-team shark attacks, especially in cases involving Great Whites, are 10-million-to-one. But, considering a surfer was mauled by two of the apex predators in 2004 off the coast of Gracetown, those experts appear to be full of shit.

Clarkson is believed to have been utilizing a SharkShield deterrent while diving on the day of his murder, proving that such devices are no substitute for common fucking sense. His body has not be found.

The abalone industry brings in over $50 million to South Australia every year.

The following is a record of shark attacks down under:

* August 17, 2010: A 31-year-old man died from serious injuries after a shark attacked him while he was surfing near Gracetown in Western Australia’s southwest.

* December 27, 2008: Fisherman Brian Guest, 51, taken by a great white while snorkelling at Port Kennedy in Perth’s south. His son and beachgoers saw the shark attack and swim off with him in its mouth.

* April 8, 2008: A 16-year-old boy from Wollongbar killed by a shark while bodyboarding off Ballina’s Lighthouse Beach on the NSW north coast.

* January 7, 2006: Sarah Kate Whiley, 21, mauled by up to three bull sharks while swimming in waist-deep water with friends at Amity Point, off south-east Queensland’s North Stradbroke Island.

* August 24, 2005: Marine biologist Jarrod Stehbens, 23, taken by a shark, believed to be a white pointer, while diving for cuttlefish eggs with colleagues off Adelaide’s Glenelg Beach.

* March 19, 2005: Geoffrey Brazier, 26, attacked by a six-metre shark, believed to be a great white, as he snorkelled near the Abrolhos Islands, off Geraldton, 500km north of Perth.

* December 16, 2004: Nick Peterson, 18, killed instantly when attacked by a great white shark as he was towed behind a boat on a surfboard 300 metres off Adelaide’s popular metropolitan West Beach.

* December 11, 2004: Mark Thompson, 38, attacked by a shark while spear fishing with two friends at Opal Reef, about 75km from Cairns in north Queensland. He died from a cardiac arrest soon after the attack.

* July 10, 2004: Brad Smith, 29, attacked by two sharks, believed to be a great white and a large bronze whaler, as he surfed near Gracetown in Western Australia’s south-west.

* February 8, 2003: Bob Purcell, 84, attacked by a 2.5 metre bull whaler while swimming in Burleigh Lake on the Gold Coast in Queensland.

* December 16, 2002: Beau Martin, 23, attacked while swimming in Miami Lake on the Gold Coast in Queensland.

* April 30, 2002: Scallop diver Paul Buckland, 23, dragged from a mate’s arms by a six-metre white pointer while trying to get on board a boat in Smoky Bay in the Great Australian Bight, South Australia.

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My only goal in running this blog is to save lives. There’s a revolution taking place. Every day we lose our brothers and sisters and children to vicious animal-on-human hate crimes. The press usually swallows and regurgitates the propaganda animal sympathizers feed them, blaming people for moving into what they call wildlife terrain.

This justification has always been offensive and unacceptable to those of us who know that the good Lord gave us dominion over the animals upon creating the earth, giving us the freedom to tear down forests and jungles to build mini-malls if we so fucking desire. Of course, like Jesus, I am often met with resistance when preaching the truth.

But, now, the mainstream media is finally picking up on what I’ve been saying all along: animals hate us and they’re trying to kill us. ABC News is now warning people that attacks are on the rise. The network points out that tigers and even elephants are on a mission to wipe us out.

Look and learn:

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If you’re one of the many who travel to South America in search of archeological treasures and tween prostitutes, beware of the Dermatobia hominis (AKA: the human botfly). These disgusting insects bury their eggs inside your skin where they feed until hatching.

Douchebag Dr. Mark W. Moffitt took it upon himself to birth a botfly maggot from his hand for your viewing pleasure. The horrific scene is straight out of alien and leaves a gaping wound the size of a porn star’s anus in his fist.

Enjoy:

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If you’re in Palm Beach County and don’t fancy yourself chum, make sure you stay the fuck way from the ocean. Large numbers of Blacktip and Spinner sharks have migrated to the area in search of mullet schools and stupid swimmers.

Brent Winner, AKA: Captain Obvious of the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, warns:

If the water is murky and you see hundreds of sharks, you probably should stay out of the water. Even though they don’t eat people, the chance of being bitten is there.

According to the International Shark Attack File at the Florida, Palm Beach County ranks third in the state for shark attacks, with 59 attacks and no fatalities since the late 19^th century.

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Flowers wilt. Chocolates melt. Roaches are forever.

So reads the Valentine Day special gift offer from the folks over at the Bronx Zoo, who for a $10 donation will name a Madagascar hissing cockroach in honor of your paramour. The zoo will even send a certificate to your sweetheart on your behalf.

Says the Zoo:

Naming a roach in honor of someone near and dear to your heart shows that you’ve noticed how resilient, resourceful, and loyal that person is. Or maybe it’s in recognition of your one and only’s virility, or strength in the face of high radiation. You’re not afraid to say, “Baby, you’re a roach!”

Of course, it may also suggest that your valentine carries over a thousand known diseases … just like your mother warned.

To take advantage of the Bronx Zoo offer, visit them here.

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Folks living in Glenwood Springs, Colorado have got a new venomous critter to worry about: A half-inch species of pseudoscorpion named Cryptogreagris steinmanni.

The nearly blind pseudoscorpion, recently discovered at Glenwood Caverns, lacks a stinger at the end of its tail (like all pseudoscorpions), but has elongated pinchers that it uses to imject venom into its prey.

The journal of Subterranean Biology insists the pseudoscorpion poses no threat to humans, but they’re a bunch of liars. So cut back on your cave expeditions and keep a shoe handy incase you spot one in your kitchen.

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This poor little boy was just having a little fun with a lizard his ill informed parents had given him when he was brutally bitten on his finger.

Had his folks sold enough Slurpees to buy him a Wii instead of a dangerous animal this would never have happened:

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