Every year, thousands of parents allow school teachers to take their children to aquariums to be brainwashed with propaganda about the wonders of ocean life. They will be mislead to believe that whales must be saved, that dolphins are as smart as humans, and that it is wrong to chop off a shark’s fins to make soup to enhance the libidos of Japanese men.

They will also be exposed to perverted animal behavior. Take a look at this walrus as it sucks itself shamelessly:

Parents, i beseech you to think twice before signing that field trip slip. Otherwise, you may one day walk in on your son blowing himself like there’s no tomorrow … unless he’s Japanese (they’re hung like gnats).

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A lot of people will put blame on their fellow man for the vicious hate crimes that you see on this site and the news. People will say ridiculous things like “that woman shouldn’t have gone swimming in that croc-infested river,” or “that man shouldn’t have stuck his hand in that tiger’s cage to get a better picture for his kids.” I say why the fuck not? It’s our fucking planet. We have dominion over the animals. It says so in the bible.

The man in the following clip was only trying to photograph a tiger at the zoo for his kids. Many will wonder why he didn’t use the zoom function on his camera, but it is obvious to me that the man lives in India or some similar God forgotten country in which the Sony Cybershot has not been introduced to the retail market. Needless to say, the tiger rips the man’s arm off and—in a blatant show of animosity and disrespect—proceeds to eat it in front of the family.

The man is not only rendered armless, but is also scalped while being pulled against the bars. Take a look:

It’s common for victims of crimes to blame themselves for the horrors that befall them. But, what we must remember is that the animals are at war with us. They want us to blame each other for their acts of hate. But, don’t do it. Stay united. Don’t blame the guy who wants to jump into a zoo enclosure. Blame the animal that doesn’t know its place.

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Enemy conspirators like PETA would have you believe that dogs are man’s best friends. But, would your best friend attempt to rape your grandmother? Even my worst buddies wouldn’t do such a horrendous thing. Hell, my friends won’t even open my fridge without asking for permission, let alone pound my granny.

The media loves to show dogs in a positive light—guiding the blind, catching a Frisbee, pulling a sled through an arctic blizzard. But, dog rape is something everyone keeps hidden in the closet. Don’t be a victim. If you must own a dog, chop its nuts off and beat it with a newspaper three times a day to keep it subdued.

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If you’re like most people, you probably think these pictures are adorable. The image of a cute and cuddly baby polar bear playfully chomping at an adult human’s leg will most likely make you smile and coo. Why? Because you’re an idiot. The behavior that little baby polar bear is displaying is an act of aggression fueled by an instinct to kill humans.

Sure, it may look harmless now—but what happens when that cub grows big enough to rip your limbs off? Will it still be cute then? Is the following clip adorable?

Stay alert, people. Stay informed. Baby animals want to kill you just as much as adult animals.

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Hello, Friends!

Animals Hate Us is back! I apologize for the lack of updates over the holidays. I was on safari doing my part to keep the animal population down. I can only pray that you or your loved ones did not come under attack while I was gone. I do realize the importance of this site in keeping you updated on the battle between man and beast, and providing you with enough frightening examples of animal-on-human crimes to ensure you keep your guard up at all times. It is a responsibility I do not take lightly.

So, that said, let’s get back to business!

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