A donkey has made an ass out of three people who may have “provoked” it in Augusta, GA. At least that’s what the media would have you believe.

Real donkeys are not like the ones you see in Shrek movies or “Winnie the Pooh” cartoons. In the wild, donkeys are violent and mule-headed, and like to have sex with hookers in Tijuana.

Popularity: 41%

Tourists visiting  the crocodile infested waters  of Australia have taken to posing for photos on top of crocodile traps. From bikini-clad girls to frat dudes to old nudists, people are coming out in droves to play Crocodile Hunter. Australian residents are annoyed with the visitors and are now referring to the croc-traps as moron traps.

Garry Lindner, a park ranger at Jim Jim Falls in Kakadu National Park, says:

Crocs are attracted to the bait in the traps, so it is extremely dangerous to fool around like this.

Well, at least we’ll have pictures when the carnage begins. Stay tuned.

Popularity: 100%

This UK journalist was just trying to score some butt-sex from his girl when he worked up the cojones to step inside this lion’s lair. Stick to buckets of alcohol when courting women, guys. You’ve been warned. Now watch:

Popularity: 40%

This Thanksgiving Day weekend, don’t forget to give thanks that it’s the bird that’s dead and cooked. After all, it could have been you or your kids!

This happened in a residential neighborhood. They’re coming onto our turf!

Turkeys aren’t afraid of our technology!

Even bikers aren’t safe!

This is scarier than Paranormal Activity (and shot just as well)

Turkeys may appear goofy, but they are an aggressive bird that won’t think twice about pecking your eyes out!

Popularity: 24%

Animals hate us and they’re trying to kill us. We build malls on their land, shit in their ocean, pollute their sky, take their fur and, in a vulgar display of power, even make some of them wear costumes and cute little sweaters.

Animals hate us and they’re trying to kill us. And, it’s not just the ugly ones or those with scales. It’s not just the big cats of the Serengeti and the sharks in the sea or the bears in the forest. It’s also the dog you walk, the cat in the tree, the birds overhead, the funny little monkeys at the exotic pet store, the hamster in the wheel, the goats at the petting zoo, even the fish in the bowl.

Animals hate us and they’re trying to kill us. Repeat it to yourself. Learn the facts. Animal attacks on humans are on the rise. It’s us against them. We must prepare ourselves for what’s to come. The first step is information. This blog will document all the crimes against humanity orchestrated by the animals.  We will not rest until every animal is behind bars.

Animals hate us and they’re trying to kill us. They are not your friends.  They don’t want to be your pets. They may be cute. They may be fluffy. But, remember: The only good animal is a barbecued one.

Popularity: 25%